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Related: fear | allowance | mastery-of-fear | resistance | jeopardy | you-are-safe | shields-are-wounds | being-without-protection | vulnerability | embracing-change | let-your-creation-be | How-You-Are-Perceived
Let Go Of Control To Discover The True Flow Of Life.
The art of allowance is a big part of the spiritual path because to allow what you are is to be your unlimited self—it is to be the love and freedom that you are. To be allowing isn’t to try to be open and accepting; it is to allow the way in which your natural state is to be open and loving.
To be allowing, you have to get out of your own way.
allowance isn’t a force you need to generate—it is what you naturally are. There is nothing new you need to do in order to be more allowing; you just need to stop doing the things that aren’t allowing. At a psychological level, this is to release the sense of anxiety and tension that causes you to clutch tightly onto the steering wheel of life and fearfully watch every bend in the road for hidden obstacles. These are both fear-based actions that show to you the ways in which you do not feel safe. And, as you come to explore the art of allowance, what you will discover is that you cannot be allowing in a situation you are fearful of. Therefore, the art of allowance is the art of coming to not fear your own experience.
Now, because we are not always the best at spotting when fear is operating within us, it is most clearly seen in the ways in which we try to control our reality. This is what the clutching of the steering wheel is—it is an action that seeks to better control your reality in order to try and feel safe.
- Do not wait so long to do this that you are in a state of exasperation or feeling as though your actions will be a last resort. Start exploring this idea through less emotionally charged situations first to get a feel for it. Don’t start with your biggest, most frustrating block.
- Do not do this from a position of “testing creation” or from anger at the universe. This only works from a position of confidence and self-knowing.
- Let go of control with trust in the existence of a harmony beneath all life that will assert itself in the absence of your mental opposition. This will get easier the more you do it, as you will start to become aware of the powerful flow that asserts itself when you stop resisting.
- This is to learn that reality has a powerful fail-safe mechanism to resolve any situation—the letting go of control.
Letting go of the effort and struggle to control can at first sound appealing but, to start with, it may be one of the most exhausting things you have ever done. This is because without your desire to control to focus on, your mind will initially feel adrift and frantic. This reveals how the need to be in control stems from a lack of trust in the self and the nature of reality.
If letting go of control brings up fears, use this as an opportunity to see those fears more clearly than ever before. In doing so, they will begin to evaporate and connect you further into your trust of self. To let go of control is to find the place of trust in yourself that is the knowing of All-That-You-Are (the knowing you are the creator of your reality). It is a statement that says you feel the flow of life and know it will take you where ever you need to go.
To let go of control is to know there are no external forces that can harm you because everything is a reflection of you exploring yourself. This is to understand that the level from which reality emerges runs far deeper than our mentality. To be the choice maker in your life does not mean you need to control every aspect of your reality. It can feel good to be in control; just do not need to be in control.
To feel the need to control your life is to believe that your life would otherwise be out of control.
realize the illusory nature of control by fearlessly making the choices that naturally present themselves to you, and then let go of the idea of what that choice may or may not achieve. Let your choices manifest their own resolution. Do not try to control the results of your choices. In this lies the resolution of the paradox of your control of life being simultaneously absolute (because you are the creator of your life) and yet an illusion (because in human form we are not entirely conscious of our intention for this life). With this knowing…
Make your choices with confidence and then let them go—let your life be as it is.
Due to our survival mentality, our joy-based child-like dreams become tangled up with experiences we have felt wounded by and our fears for our own survival. At these times, the energy you exert through the belief that your controlling action is needed to break the impasse, is the very energy that is tightening the energetic / psychological knot you are in (the experience of some kind of obstacle). Learn to recognize energetic deadlocks so you know when you are being your own impediment.
A beauty of this reality is that if you step back from active creation and allow yourself to fall into the flow of energy / consciousness that underlies and fuels all life, then that motion will always be in the direction of untangling what is tangled, connecting what has become disconnected, and loving what has become unloved. This is the spiritual analogy of letting go of the oars of your boat and letting the current take you where it is going instead of trying to impose your will by furiously paddling against the natural flow.
allowance is not an action—it is the release of the action of seeking to control. There is therefore nothing you need to do in order to allow; it is to stop doing. However, having become so entrenched in the need for a sense of never-ending control, we may first need to learn to stop because we might have forgotten what not acting from fear feels like. This is because our minds have become conditioned for survival rather than thriving. Survival is best achieved through fearfully avoiding negatively perceived outcomes, whereas thriving is best served by joyfully seeking exciting outcomes.
Now, with all this said, to close I must equally point to the fact that to control is not wrong because I don’t want you to fall into the duality of control is always bad and allowance is always good. Control is an exciting part of being human. It is simply that when we are unconscious of how we are controlling, we can become a messy tangle of conflicting intentions.
The spiritual path is therefore to let go of control such that you untangle yourself and become clear as to who you are and what your wider intention for this life is. Once this is done, you can then use control in a joyful way to create, instead of in a resistant way to avoid what you fear.
Letting Go of Control
The state of allowance is the realization that you do not need to clutch the steering wheel of life, or watch every bend in the road for hidden obstacles, in order to feel safe. Enter into a state of allowance by letting go of the ways in which you are seeking to control your reality. Do not wait to do this until you are in a feeling of exasperation or last resort. Do not do this from a position of testing creation or from anger at ‘the universe’. Instead, let go of control with complete inner trust and confidence in the existence of the harmony that exists beneath all life—the harmony that will assert itself in the absence of your mental opposition.
This is the knowing that reality has a powerful fail-safe mechanism to resolve any situation—the letting go of control. Letting go of the effort and pain of needing to control can at first sound easy but, to start with, it may be one of the most exhausting things you have ever done because of how your mind may initially feel adrift and frantic. This reveals how the need to be in control stems from a lack of trust in the self and negative beliefs about the nature of reality.
When letting go of control brings up fear, use this as an opportunity to see your fears more clearly than ever before. In doing so, those fears will begin to transform. This will connect you further into your trust of self—as both an incarnate-being and as a spiritual-presence that permeates all life.
To let go of control is to find the place of trust deep inside of yourself—the place that is the knowing of All-That-You-Are (which is the knowing that you are the creator of your reality). This is to feel the flow of life and know that it will take you where you need to go. To let go of control is to know there are no external forces that can harm you, because everything is a reflection of you exploring yourself. This is to understand that the level from which reality emerges from consciousness, runs far deeper than our mentality.
To be the choice-maker in your life does not mean to control every aspect of your reality. It can feel good to be in control—just do not need to be in control. To feel the need to control your life is to believe that your life would otherwise be out of control.
realize the illusionary nature of control. Do not try to control the results of your choices. Make the choices that come to you and then let them go. Let them manifest their own resolution. In this lies the resolution of the paradox of control of your life being simultaneously absolute—because you are the creator of your life—and yet an illusion—because in entering mortality you choose to be unconscious of your wider nature. Make your choices with confidence and then let them go.
Allowance vs. Control
Due to our survival mentality, the joy-based, child-like dreams we once had for ourselves become entangled with the experiences we have felt most wounded by. At these times, the energy you exert through the belief that your fear-based survival mentality is necessary, is the very energy that is tightening the knot that is making you fearful.
This is usually experienced as the evolution of some kind of obstacle between you and what you think you need to survive. Learn to recognize these self-created energetic deadlocks such that you know when you are being your own impediment. Recognizing yourself as the creator of the block will naturally cause you to stop feeding it with your fear and the knot you are mentally bound within will begin to loosen.
A beauty of this reality is that if you step back from active creation and allow yourself to fall into the flow of energy / consciousness that underlies—and fuels—all life, then that motion will always be in the direction of untangling what is tangled, connecting what has become disconnected, and loving what has become unloved. Through the release of control, you enter the state of allowance. This is not an action—it is the release of action that seeks to control.
There is nothing you need to learn in order to allow—it is simply to stop doing (which is to stop controlling). However, because we have become so entrenched in acting from a place of control, often we have to remember how to stop because we have forgotten what not acting from fear feels like (such that it can feel unnatural / fear provoking to us).
The connection between allowance and control is made clear through the choice to enter the state of allowance from within a knotted, tangle of intentions. In this choice it can feel as though taking your hands off the steering wheel of life is just as scary as letting go of a car’s steering wheel at high speed. Just as your brain tells you not to stop steering your car through the idea that a crash will ensue—which is helpful for survival in a physical reality—it will also tell you that your worst fears about what will happen are probable if you don’t control every aspect of your reality.
This is because the human mind has become conditioned for survival—rather than thriving—and that is best achieved by fearfully avoiding negatively-perceived outcomes (whereas thriving is best served by joyfully seeking exciting outcomes). Recognize that control is not wrong—it is simply that when we are unconscious of how we are controlling, we can become a tangle of conflicting intentions (due the conflicting beliefs across our own internal separations).