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Wholeness Through Healing
To let go of trying to control your reality is to free yourself to be yourself. Whether your attempt to control flows from trying to change reality into what you think it should be, or from trying to keep it the same, that control is manifested in effort and struggle. To be in effort is to be identified with the illusion of separation and limitation. It is to be living in a test, where depending on your effort and the choices you make, you will either pass or fail.
attachment is a form of control where your identity becomes attached to reality being a set way. When it is this defined way, you feel good; when it is not, you feel bad. In this state there is no rest or peace as your mood becomes conditional on external factors. Attachment leads to possessiveness, which is where we seek to forcibly hold things in our reality. This is an expression of the fear of loss. We believe that if we do not hold onto what we are attached to, then it will leave us, and we will be diminished. This is to have identified your story with what you are attached to; therefore losing it becomes feared as a loss of a part of yourself. It is to live in fear.
To attach your identity to external things is an expression of feeling incomplete in what you are. To be free of possessiveness is to know that you are everything. It is to be identified with all equally. When you are wounded then the area of being that you are shielding off is shut off within your being (in the illusion, not within your infinite-self). You start to experience the loss of that part of your being as something missing in your life, and the wound becomes felt as a hole—a feeling of incompleteness. This may be felt as unease, emptiness, loneliness, or in a sense of feeling alienated from those around you.
There is a natural desire to feel whole, as wholeness is the feeling of your infinite-self. Because of this desire for completeness, the hole created by a wound becomes a need to find what is missing. To resist healing a wound internally is therefore to become compelled to heal it externally. It is to seek to resolve the incompleteness with material experiences that in some way represent the aspect of your being that has become shut off. Though you can obtain partial relief (usually through either self-numbing or distraction) from a wound, there is nothing external that can completely fill an internal hole.
The unrelenting pursuit to resolve the inner feeling of emptiness with external relief is the basis of addiction. To lose what you are attached to is to re-open the feeling of emptiness and incompleteness that the attachment was masking. Avoidance of this emptiness leads to a chase where you are continually trying to fill a hole that cannot ever be truly filled by anything except the healing of the wound. The extreme manifestations of this chase can be in compulsive behavior, self-harming, and the many forms of physical addiction. These are all a chase to feel complete—a running from the pain of emptiness.
emotional attachment to another person is a form of neediness where your happiness becomes dependent on keeping that person in your life. This is not love; it is an addiction to another person. It is to perpetually live in fear of losing them, and in the struggle to hold them in your life. This fear will either manifest in them leaving or in a co-dependent relationship. Your joy becomes secondary as you externalize the power of your beingness into the person you are attached to. As with all addiction, this comes from the desire for wholeness. The other person provides relief to the feeling of emptiness, to be possessive of them is to maintain a fix.
Though you do have the free-will choice to carry your wounds for an entire lifetime, you can never escape having to heal them eventually. Often we try to convince ourselves that living with the pain of a wound is preferable to going back into it. This is to not see the degree to which the pain of that wound is already manifesting in other ways through the hole it creates. To carry a wound for a lifetime is to go through more pain than could ever be experienced by healing the wound in the Now.
There is no wound that you are not strong enough to heal. To heal your wounds is to step into the conscious realization of your wholeness. It is to let go of the chase of attachment and its caging of your freedom to be yourself. It is to step from only being able to offer conditional love, to being able to love unconditionally. In this state, where you no longer seek to forcibly hold your attachments in your reality, what remains is what desires to be there. It is to live in a world where what surrounds you is not there because you have imprisoned it; it is there because it is choosing to be. This is to let the experience of being surrounded by love into your life. It is the realization that you are worthy of that love.
When you release attachment there will be much that will leave your life. These are all things that have run their course and are ready to move on. They are experiences that you were artificially sustaining with your effort. To release attachment is to face reality with clarity and allow it to be what it is, rather than what you were trying to force it to be. Initially this may be painful, but through the allowance of that pain will come freedom from addiction. In revealing a hole that you were artificially filling, you are offered the opportunity to see, and thereby heal, the wound which the hole represents.
Your attachments act as temporary bandages which hold you from seeing your wounds. To let them go is to allow your wounds to breathe, heal, and be reintegrated into your being. Though letting go of your attachments may be painful, it is not the pain of loss, it is the pain that you shut down when the original wound was created. The only loss that ever took place was the loss of the aspect of your being that was shut inside the wound. To let go of your attachments is to regain something, not lose it.
attachment is a way to not deal with your wounds. It is a way to put your energy into holding reality static, rather than allowing the unfolding. The unfolding inevitably leads you to your wounds so that they can be healed. Attachment takes continual effort and struggle against this motion. It holds you in a feeling of incompleteness. Though you may get a temporary fix through an addiction, you are then quickly chasing after the next fix. As such you are not free from the wound at all, but are in constant servitude to it. Addiction is slavery from within.
To open a wound is to face an unknown change to your story. Through the motion of the unfolding, wounds appear to pull you towards them. As long as you are in fear you will resist this, putting your energy into not being pulled in. The wound does not pull at you to hurt you; the pull is because it contains a part of you. Inside the wound is a part of your beingness that seeks to be whole again, in just the same way you seek your own wholeness. If you will allow yourself to fall into the unknown change of healing a wound, through feeling and releasing its pain, you will find the part of yourself that addiction could never complete. You will find your fulfillment—your sovereignty. Sovereignty is to know you are whole. You are complete unto yourself.
You cannot escape healing your wounds. They are a part of you; your freedom lies within their healing. Through the pain of attachment your wounds are continually present in your life. Allow the healing of your wounds by releasing the attachments with which you have been disguising them.