“Ancient Soul for the Modern Heart and Mind.”
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Why Our Spirit Chooses Lack And Obstacles
This text explains how it is possible to experience lack even though reality is a mirror and you are — as an embodiment of infinite consciousness — inherently abundant. Why is the experience of lack so common? What is it telling us? What is it a reflection of?
In order to answer these questions it is important to approach the question from a point of neutrality, instead of seeing lack as a negative thing that needs to be eradicated (because you cannot see anything that you are in resistance to clearly). Through this recognition is the understanding that, although we are not inherently lacking, lack is something we are choosing to experience as a part of the human experience.
Only when we take the negative emotional charges we have experienced through lack out the equation can we see that lack isn’t something you can defeat or conquer, but is a state of consciousness that you can learn to gently walk away from through the acceptance that you are the one creating it.
Take a moment to feel how your own experiences of lack are connected across your life (seeing commonality across time) as well as how they are connected to other people’s experiences of lack (seeing commonality across people). Recognize what our collective struggles have in common.
feeling the commonality in our struggle with abundance is an important part of seeing through the illusion of separation between us when we are embodied. Although we are socialized not to verbalize this, the struggles of the wealthy are not as different from the struggles of the poor as we may like to imagine (because we mentally prefer to think of wealth as a cure-all).
This is not just a case of money not solving everything; it is the recognition that although money can solve circumstantial problems, it offers no solution for either mental or emotional difficulty (except perhaps making suppression of it through addiction / medication more affordable).
The power of recognizing the feeling that connects us is that you not only see how you are not alone, you see how it is the variations in these fear-based experiences that allow us to experience each other as separate and different (thereby granting us the experience of individuality). Through this understanding, our issues and problems are not just this annoying thing we have to free ourselves from, they are our choice to experience difference — and thereby separation — from each other.
What we call our problems — what we feel as lack — is not an unfortunate but necessary side-effect of living within duality (a state of polarized perception). They are the medium of polarization — a “stickiness of attachment to meaning” upon which our polarized perception can take on a level of consistency and thereby personality.
Our collective struggle with lack (which we all experience regardless of our level of wealth) stems from the early experience of being human in prehistoric times — a time when we started to evolve our mental capacity, but life was still all about physical survival. The feeling at the heart of our struggle with lack in our present time stems from this early experience of lack (where it was experienced as dying from starvation or thirst and violent competition with others for limited resources). No matter how much our minds may evolve, this experience of struggling to survive is imprinted within the human consciousness as well as still very much being a part of our world today with many people still struggling to feed themselves.
“I must survive!” is a powerful drive within us all — it is an integral part of the human experience.
As we now come to awaken to our wider spiritual heritage and see ourselves within not only the individual, but also within the design and commonality of our human experience, there is the opportunity to recognize the effect of our survival-instinct and thereby begin to alter our relationship with it.
The change of relationship I am presenting to you here comes from continuing to recognize the cycle of lack and abundance — that our survival-instinct is so strongly triggered by — while seeing that although you have been choosing to experience limitation, those limits do not reflect what you are outside of the human experience.
Your spirit does not know the experience of lack except through its embodied experiences of self (such as you).
You will know when you are engaging with the survival-instinct not only through the feeling of fear and resistance through which it presents itself, but also through the fear-based thoughts this feeling provokes. For example: I am scared of this — I must work hard — struggle is inevitable — good things don’t come easily — reward only comes from physical action — the world is a tough place — most people struggle — you are extremely lucky if you have money — being abundant is not the norm, struggle is.
See how there is a collective feeling behind these thoughts — a place within consciousness where they all meet. Feel this as the archetypal expression of struggle, lack, and survival. Feel all these fear-based thoughts and all your experiences of struggle merging into this one collective, archetypal “thing” — a symbol that represents the survival-instinct and the cycle of lack and abundance.
ELABORATION: A subtle but significant distinction here is to see that this imprint is not lots of negative ideas, it is actually more of a collection of “not knowings”than “knowings”. This imprint is unconsciousness of “what is” — rather than a defined alternate version of “what is”. So the human imprint is not a brainwashing with negative ideas, but a blindness onto which negative ideas have collected within our society.
To take this “human pill” is to take on the imprint and enter into the human experience.
imagine your spirit as a glorious, radiant, being of light. This represents your infinite self. And because it does not know fear, it experiences itself as connected to everything in existence. You could think of it as your God-Self. See this glorious being stepping forward with the intention of experiencing human individuality once more. You could imagine this as a grand intention, or you could imagine this as this non-physical being starting to remember its past human experiences and playing with ideas that these previous incarnations naturally suggest as an evolution of themselves. Either way, the feeling is of this angelic figure starting to focus on the idea of being human on Earth, and as this happens the “human pill” you have felt as all your blocks appears in front of it.
You could think of this pill as being like the pill offered to Neo in the Matrix, or as the “eat me” cake that Alice discovered could shrink her down so she could enter Wonderland, or as L.S.D., that when taken, will take you on a “trip” to another experience of reality.
This pill represents the choice to be human because it offers a transformation of consciousness and perception to your spirit (the light being) that takes it from being infinite to being finite, from being free to being contained, from being connected to being separate, and from being immortal to being mortal. All your barriers, struggles, and frustrations — all the brick walls you banged your head on trying to create your dream, trying to come to more flow, to more abundance — I want you, in this moment, to see them as being inside of that pill. They are not you. You are that infinite being of light. They are in that pill and you took that pill to come and experience being human.
Your obstacles are not you; they are a pill you took because you wanted to experience them.
In this I don’t want you to view taking the pill as entering into a state of duality (the idea that the pill is “the pill of polarized perception” for which you must unfortunately take on the negative side in order to get the positive side). This idea has truth / value, but it also can become the fear-based concept that in this life you must experience pain if you want to experience gain. Instead, I want you to take the acceptance and allowance for the lack side of the cycle and see that the pill is not some half-positive and half-negative thing — even though that is how our human self interprets it — and instead see the pill as your spirit sees it.
Your spirit does not look at the pill and say, “this will lead me into polarization”, because it cannot conceive of polarization without experiencing it. It cannot therefore see the pill as being dualistic (containing two sides). So if it can’t perceive it in the way our human self does, how does our spirit see the human pill?
The pill is a blueprint for a human life. To say that we are each spirit in human form is to say we are each spirit within the experience of a human imprint / blueprint. Encoded in that blueprint is every emotional-spiritual struggle you will ever face (not in terms of a literal description of outward events, but in terms of an archetypal emotional-spiritual journey that you then fill in the details of within the life).
What can be hard to grasp about our human blueprint is that not only is it very open and general (because of how it describes emotional arcs rather than outward experiences), the arcs it describes are not created by layers of description (definition). Instead, they are described by a choice to enter unconsciousness (the choice to forget). This is the opposite of how we experience definition when we are in human form.
Even though our spirits don’t experience “reaction” in the way we do, you could imagine this as saying — there are no surprises within spirit, so the outcome of every unfolding energy is known. By forgetting its infinite nature, eternal-consciousness has created “the unknown” within its experience of knowing everything by using selective unconsciousness / forgetting.
- By taking the human pill, you forget.
- By forgetting, you create the unknown.
- The unknown creates a space for the human imagination.
Not until consciousness created the potential for unconsciousness — and thereby “not-knowing” — did it create what we experience as imagination. Only in embodied form can we say, “I don’t know what is behind that door so I will imagine what is there” or “I don’t know what will happen if I take this pill”.
Now I apologize for how cliche this statement might be, but every obstacle in your life is an opportunity because it is a chance to redefine your relationship with your human imprint (the unknown / unconsciousness within you).
- What you call your obstacles are not outward things (definitions) that you have put in your way.
- What you call your walls are not solid things that block your way.
- What you call your grief is not caused by someone missing from your life, it is caused by your lack of knowing that you are still just as connected to them as you were when they were physically with you.
- What you call your challenges are not created because of what you know, they are created by what you do not know — what you have forgotten.
To see this is to see the opportunity that every obstacle presents as the chance to see that its difficulty is not something “out there” happening to you, it is a relationship with something unknown within you that you are — because of the human survival-instinct — interpreting as a negative problem to be fixed.
life will change radically when you look at the transformation of the obstacles before you as the transformation of “what is unknown” (by not negatively projecting onto it) — as opposed to something that must outwardly be changed.
The journey of not coming to negatively project onto the unknowns within us is the journey of awakening (as it is the path of seeing through the illusion of your fears).
This is where the power of seeing “I am not lack, lack is a pill I took” comes in, as it states that you are not the painful things you are experiencing, and yet it owns the experience of them because it understands they have arisen from the choice to take the pill. A part of what we each are is our spirit’s desire to experience the unknown.
Only when we see that we would willingly choose challenging and even painful experiences in life can we stop negatively projecting onto every unknown within us through the fearful belief that we are victims — rather than creators — of our reality. Only when we are not inclined to imagine the worst, do we begin to hope and dream of joyful things that may emerge from our experience of what is not understood or known within us.
Spit out the negativity of your obstacles. Your obstacles are not negative. Your obstacles are not you — they are caused by you projecting onto an aspect of consciousness (which you have forgotten you are connected to). Your obstacles are not positive or negative — they are unknown and, as such, you are free to imagine what exists within the space of that unknown as either positive or negative.
This is the understanding of how all perception within the state of embodiment / unconsciousness is a creative act because of how it engages our imagination.
Take your power back from your fearful, wounded beliefs through which you have come to imagine your nightmares instead of your dreams. Choose as a creator. Choose to walk through your dreams, not your nightmares. Choose with awareness to see your imagination as a creative act.
Your imagination is powerful beyond belief.
“I am not a victim of you. I am the creator of you and I choose to believe I created you with love — not fear. I chose you with wisdom — not foolishness. I chose you to empower me — not break me.”
In this way, you can begin to gently let your obstacles go in terms of the way you have previously known and interacted with them. You don’t need to “solve them” because there is no longer any pressure around them and yet, ironically, you will often in this moment find they dissolve / resolve because you are no longer feeding them with your fears.
EXAMPLE: In creative fiction you may have seen the symbol of a person turning their back toward the thing that they most fear — not to deny it, but to say, “I do not fear you. I put my back to you rather than my shields, my walls, my defense and protections.” This is to face your fears by engaging your ability to be vulnerable. Now see this as you saying to your obstacle, “You are not me. You are a pill I took and the only power you possess to harm me comes from the power I give you through my fear-based beliefs I project onto the unknown you represent.”
As I bring this article to a close, I want to remind you that everything we are doing here is about moving around and exploring the experience of freedom to limitation, abundance to lack, and allowance to resistance. In this we are not seeking to destroy these experiences in order to be free of them, we are seeking to understand them such that we can master our navigation of them such that we can be more conscious of the experience we are having within human form.
feel your desire to be ever more conscious. Sense this drive to awaken within you. Feel the place it is coming from. Check yourself for any desire to escape what you are currently experiencing by becoming more conscious. We do not birth within human form to become more conscious — we birth into human form to play with the transformation of unconsciousness.
To see this difference is powerful as it is see that you aren’t here to achieve something; you are here to experience something.
It is wonderful to seek to be more conscious (for that is to seek to “know thyself”) but understand that, through humanity, eternal-consciousness is coming to better know itself through the experience of being less conscious / unconscious. Discover the freedom that exists within the realization that you are not seeking to become more conscious, you are seeking to better know yourself by playing with your level of consciousness which includes BOTH remembering and forgetting.
“More or less” conscious is not a description of more or less value. “More or less” is a hierarchical illusion. Our level of consciousness when human doesn’t even tell us where we are on the spiritual journey because the more experience you develop of coming to Earth, the bigger the pills of forgetting you are likely to take.
awakening is not about our “level of consciousness” or our “outward conditions”; it is about our experience of self. To recognize this is to understand that you are free in how you creatively perceive — and thereby experience — your human self. There is no particular thing you came to create or achieve or, if you must think in terms of some kind of goal, then you came here to find out how to have a good relationship with yourself in just the same way as you may imagine the challenge of having a good relationship with another person.
We are each a marriage — a marriage of the human pill and infinite consciousness. And, just like a good marriage, this is not something that either partner “wins at”. It is a meeting of two perspectives that births a third perspective — a child of the union — through which both parties gift themselves a new way of experiencing not only this world, but the human self.