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“I choose to approach my reality through the understanding that to love it is to love myself and to hate it is to hate myself.“
Hatred is the manifestation of an internal division that has come to be experienced as an externalized pain through the negative meanings with which it has been labeled. From a perspective, all hate is a cry for help because hatred for others is an externalization of internal self-hatred.
It is impossible to hate anyone more than you hate the most rejected part of yourself because all hatred is a projection of your own feelings. Therefore, the degree to which any person hates, is the degree to which they hate themselves. Hence, the greater the hatred displayed, the greater the pain the mortal self is experiencing.
What you hate is a symbol of something inside you that you are not accepting. You will usually need to look beyond the surface to identify it within you. Some people hate anything they see as representing change, as they do not wish to change themselves. Some hate anything they perceive as being weak, as they hate their own weakness and fear being vulnerable. Some hate all authority, as they fear their own power. Some hate anything female, as they do not accept their own femininity. Some simply fear anything that is different from them, as they feel no security in what they are.
For one person to hate another is—no matter how much that person may denigrate them—to see themselves as being a victim of them. The hatred we witness in supremacists does not arise from some ‘evil’ within them—it is the manifestation of their belief that they are the victims. It is this belief—and not the concept we call ‘evil’—that is the foundation from which all extremist behavior stems.
To have the courage to see this perspective is to approach the transformation of that hatred through love. To blanketly write-off any person as ‘evil’ is to believe peace will only ever come through their execution or imprisonment. This is, however, just another face of the belief that you are the victim who needs protection from that which you believe is your enemy.
Do not attack people who hate—even though, on one level, this is what they are asking you to do—as this is to stand with them in hatred (thereby fueling its manifestation in the world). hate is only transformed through love and loving someone never looks like being against them. Love is not against anyone because there is only one self in creation. The hatred you perceive in the world can only change within your personal reality when you bring your love to the aspect of you that hates.
Hatred is a negative manifestation of division. Within the human state of polarization, hatred is manifest through the friction and opposition felt between victims and abusers. When seen from this wider perspective, both victim and abuser are seen to be two sides of the choice for a single experience—an experience that is chosen for its ability to birth new potentials through the journey of resolving it.
victims and abusers are therefore two polarized perspectives on the same internal issue. The degree to which we deny the way in which they are the same—even though their experience is so radically different—is the degree to which we are in denial of our own ability to be the one whom others may feel themselves to be a victim of.
You will completely alter your relationship with hatred when you see it as a reflection of your own self-hatred. Whereas ideas of things being ‘wrong’ or ‘evil’ may have previously been used to be a focus you could righteously express your feelings of anger through, you will instead experience that anger as a signpost to what you need to love more inside yourself. In doing this it will be helpful to find new physical outlets through which you can express your anger from a state of owning it as the expression of your own pain.
When you own your own anger you may discover a grief coming up within you to be transformed. This happens because you will no longer be projecting your pain outwards onto others. Talking to friends or a counselor about this will help you to process and release these feelings. This is not about stopping you hating—as you are aiming to integrate your feelings, not suppress them—it is a process of owning your pain instead of believing that others are the cause of it (which is a victim mentality).
Feel Your Hatred To Transform It
“I choose to experience any hatred I feel for others as the realization that I am rejecting an aspect of myself.”
As we begin to understand the nature and origin of our own hatred it is natural to feel a strong rejection of that hatred when we detect it in our thoughts or feelings. However, you cannot hate hatred away. To say, “I only hate hate” is to say that you still hate, and that you hate that you hate.
Hating hate may at times seem ‘moral’, but this judgment only compounds the hatred and keeps you trapped in its cycle. If what you want is for people to stop hating, then you must love them. If you find your human self unable stop hating someone then leave them alone and look at yourself instead.
rejecting your own hateful thoughts will yield results by breaking you out of repetitive patterns of painful, divisive thinking, but rejection can only take you so far because it, itself, is a form of hatred. While rejecting your own hatred is often initially a progression—in that you are dealing with the issue as being ‘of you’ instead ‘of another’—it is just an alteration of form. It does not change the fact that it is still a painful manifestation which must be faced if you wish to no longer feel it. Remember, you do not need to reject or act against what you do not resonate with, simply leave it alone.
While seeking to not hate may seem a worthy goal, do not seek to curb your own hatred as you must meet it and understand how it came to be in order to transform it. If we do not acknowledge how we feel—even when it is hateful—then the reason we feel that rejection can never be fully understood. To shine love on hatred—within ourselves or another person—is to reveal its root so that it may be healed. It is to provide a space for the recognition of your pain such that through your increased awareness of it, your experience of self is transformed.
To hate something is to announce that you are of it. It is to state that it contains something that is within you which you are either rejecting or denying. Demonizing hatred within yourself—or within others—can only ever serve to perpetuate it. To transform your hatred, you must love it. To love it, you must see it clearly, which is to feel it without fear of that feeling.
It is in the full allowance and meeting of all your feelings—whether positive or negative—that all the life-changing transformations exist. To live your greatest dreams, meet your heart by allowing it to feel everything.
Hatred is not Wrong
Even though hatred is self-judgment—and that is self-mutilation—do not fall into thinking that hatred is wrong, as that is just to hate hate (which is to exist in hatred). Not condemning others who are hateful is a significant step in the journey of awakening to All-That-You-Are.
Such is the depth of the moral outrage we are encouraged to express—having been conditioned to believe it is a sign of our civility—that it can even feel wrong or suspect to not be hateful toward hate. This social-moral imperative to display anger, hatred, and a desire to punish those that harm others—instead of love them—is a space into which humanity continues to refine its rejection of the human self. Eventually, it will be understood that the meeting and transformation of this justification for hatred is the same as the meeting of the righteousness that we want to occur in ‘the haters’ that we hate.
The hate of an abuser on behalf of their victim is not different from the hate of a victim for their abuser. To hate is to feel divided and that is always experienced as some form of weight that is carried within your life. The overall divisive weight of pain in the life of an abuser is as great as that of their victims. To hate is the choice to live within division.
To see your own feelings of anger, frustration, and superiority as being all about your own unresolved pain will profoundly shine a light on any wounding you are still carrying. Breaking the cycle of projecting your pain onto others need not be difficult. Coming to a state of sovereignty where you own your pain is rewarding and comes with a sense of progress in knowing All-That-You-Are.
The greater challenge is in choosing how to respond in social situations where the people you are with use their shared anger over an event to unify with each other through their shared rejection of it. Along with not participating in their judgment, it is equally important to not fall into judging or lecturing them. Coming to not hate hatred is the same as coming to not judge judgment. express yourself through the positive expression of what you do believe and support—rather than through defining yourself through the expression of what you judge and reject.